Wouldn't it be Easier to BUY a Garter?!?!?

Yes.  Yes it would.  But it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

I found a fabulous lace garter pattern as I was stalking Ravelry as I am prone to do. (The pattern is here , if you are at all masochistic, ahem, I mean interested...)  It looked simple enough so I decided to give it a go.  That's when I realized the pattern called for size 00 needles and thin crochet thread.  I realized about 16 rows in (about 1 pattern repeat) that this repetitious pattern was going to take quite a while to fit around my fat thigh (17" in diameter) plus enough to make a suitable gathered ruffle.  Oh well.  Onward without complaint.

Until it had been a few days of monotonous knitting.  Then the complaints began.But no matter.  Eventually I got a strip of lace about a yard long.  That would just have to do!  Blocking the amorphous tube of knitting proved to be another challenge.  It said after soaking and pinning down your lace in the desired shape to spray it with starch to keep the pointed bits, umm....pointy.  Well I had no starch and wanted to finish NOW!!!!  What's a girl to do???  Make my own starch, of course.

The internet is a lovely thing.  Turns out all you need is to whisk 1 tablespoon cornstarch into 1 pint of cold water, transfer it into a spray bottle and shake it before each use.  Voila, homemade spray starch for practically free.  You're welcome.  And you get bragging rights AND the chance to feel like a Victorian housewife...Can it get any better???  Here's the blocked, starched result:

Then came the fun bit of weaving elastic through the eyelets.  Let me back up for a minute.  The pattern tells you to sew a bias tube along the back of the garter, run elastic through that, then weave ribbon through the aforementioned eyelets.  Sounds like too much work to me!  Since our theme colours are black and white anyways, I just found some 1/4" black elastic and ran it through the eyelets, therefore killing tow birds with one stone. 

Once all the ends were joined I sewed on a simple bow and button embellishment and pronounced the project finished.